My name is Bert Macklin, and I'm with the fucking FBI.

Andy Dwyer | Indie Parks & Rec Account.
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sorry i haven’t been here, guys! like i said, i literally became andy ( one one broken ankle, one sprained ), but i’ll be getting to this blog tomorrow. i don’t know if people still want those starters from forever ago, but if you want one, just like this and i’ll get to it.

( and if you ever want to write with andy and i’m not here, pester me at callmeselina, because nothing would make me happier than to be here. )


 yeah! 

Like for a starter, dudes and dudettes! I’ll get to them in the morning.


xknope:

agentbmacklin:

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        “Oh, c’mon. Psh. Feeding the animals —”

❝ Andy. ❞

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❝ You can not feed the animals. ❞

"They need food, too, man.”


 xknope 

humanxdisaster:

agentbmacklin:

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Are ligers, like, real? Or are they like platypuses and totally just from Cartoon Network?

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I’m not — Platypuses are real, Andy… 

"Yeah, dude, but —"

        “…Oh. What about the ligers, then? ‘Cause if the platypuses are real, then so are the ligers, right? Unless they’re both full blown Napoleon Dynamite, which they both probably are. I bet we could convince Larry they’re both totally for real.”


xknope:

agentbmacklin:

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"If there’s pizza, I’m game."

❝ Just remember. You can’t feed the animals. ❞

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        “Oh, c’mon. Psh. Feeding the animals —”


illripyourthroat:

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       ”Man, can you imagine giving birth to an old man? That’s so fucked up. Just like, looking down, and your vagina is spitting out some wrinkly big fucker, but it’s not a baby. It’s an old man. With a hairy back and everything. Need fucking therapy for when the old saggy balls and ‘hangs to the left’ dick came through. Mind and vagina would never recover. 
                      -–– So I’ve never seen ‘Benjamin Button.' Pass the hot sauce, would you?”

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        “… —Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
h
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
—”


lordxeddard:

agentbmacklin:

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        …

"Is this one of those larp things?”

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“And a larp is what exactly?”

"…Uh. Like, uh. Dressing up all Lord of the Rings and shit. You know. Larp.
          — Ben knows, I bet he’s the dude who brought you here, or whatever. Actually, you know, he had this thing from Game of Thrones with this throne made of swords that Leslie got him and he was so happy he totally cried, man, you should’ve seen it. I bet you larper dudes are all over that stuff, but I can’t blame you, ‘cause that was pretty cool. Yeah.”


xknope:

Are too. ❞

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❝ And I’m gonna prove it to you ‘cause we’re going to the zoo. ❞

"If there’s pizza, I’m game."


 xknope