I'm Bert Macklin, and I'm with the fucking FBI.

Andy Dwyer | Indie Parks & Rec Account.
©

He’s a jerk. He’s being such a jerk.


image

"So, hypothetical question. If you had, like, a shark… And, like, a bear… And you put ‘em in this land-water-tank thing… Which one’s gonna win? Huh? Totally hypothetical. Seriously.”


 open  !starter 

johnmillerjr:

agentbmacklin:

image

        “Bronies? Is that a band, or something?” … “Yeah. Mouse Rat is definitely, like, a hundred bajillion times better. Who the fuck would name a band the Bronies? Pfft. Not me. Haha.”

image

   ”… You’re going to name a band The Bronies, aren’t you.”

"My band’s been through, like, a ton of awesomesauce names already, man. Ninja Dick, Nothing Rhymes With Orange, Everything Rhymes with Orange, Nothing Rhymes With Blorange, uh, Angelsnack, Threeskin — you know, like Four-skin, only like the penis kind — and then we were Fiveskin, but then there was, like, Just The Tip, Muscle Confusion, Jet Black Pope, Radwagon, Penis Pendulum, Possum Pendulum, Puppy Pendulum, Fourskin, ‘cause we couldn’t resist, uhh, Department of Homeland Obscurity, Crackfinger, Andy and the D-Bags, The Andy Andy Andys, Flames for Flames, Punch Face Champion, Malice in Chains, and then for a while, we were, like, Scarecrow Boat —”

        Deep. Breaths. Andy.

                “The point is, dude, we’ve been Mouse Rat for a few years. Although Bronies isn’t a bad idea. It’s like a tribute to Li’l Sebastian. I’ll write it down.


hooraysatan:

agentbmacklin:

hooraysatan:

"They have a few left." She smiles. "Did you know? England kicked out all their criminals and put them on Australia? We should do that. Leslie should start a new order to send everyone in jail to Australia."

His brows furrow.

        A lot.

"Why do people in England… — English… Engle-people… — gotta be such jerks?"

"Ron says it’s because they use the metric system. Hey— did you eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch? You have a little something here." She wipes at her own cheek. 

"Oh, man, I love peanut butter.” And he kisses her cheek. Doesn’t taste like peanut butter.


kb-saransar:

literally the best blooper of all time.


"Could you say that again? I got distracted by the thing… On your face…”


 open  !starter 

"So, hypothetical question. If you had, like, a shark… And, like, a bear… And you put ‘em in this land-water-tank thing… Which one’s gonna win? Huh? Totally hypothetical. Seriously.”


 open  !starter